Saga of the WOODWIND rock...

This is a 'relatively' true story. Not even the names have been changed to protect anyone....
 SAGA OF THE WOODWIND ROCK
I was deep in sleep ‘way down below
when the Cap’n called “Heave ho, heave ho!”
In me skivies brief ‘n without relief he kept a yelling “Lets go, lets go!”
Well up on deck ‘twas all aheck in the wind, ‘n the rain, ‘n the snow.
‘N me mates, up there ‘was a fashionable pair I’m willing to tell all true;
They was all decked out ‘without a doubt in their skivies, white, black, ‘n blue.
Now the problem seems ‘that in betweens the rudder ‘n the keel;
A rock appeared, ‘unannounced I feared ‘n bothering the Cap’n a great deal.
Now a warning beware ‘if pon Woodwind you dare,
for the skippers a bit of a bear.
‘N out the boom in the falling tide gloom the bear ordered that I go.
Twas with my balls clenched tight ‘in me jockies bright that I scooched out twards the end.
Then the Cap’n called ‘as the deckhand hauled “Yo David, another bend!”
Well David heaved ‘n the Cap’n ho’ed while I scooched out the boom.
Now the whole big deal ‘twas to get her to heel ‘n off the rock to slide.
“Nother wrap on the winch!” “Now scooch nother inch!” He’s a hard damn Cap’n to abide.
With me cheeks clenched tight I gained ‘nother bite ‘whilst David cranked the winch bar.
But the Cap’n heaved ‘imself it seemed ‘n he joined me out on that spar.
O’re starboard we hung ‘me nuts nearly done twixt the sailties, reeflines & clews.
“Nother inch,” he yelled but me butt cheeks quelled as I teetered o’re those wet, deep, hues.
“Heel her ho! Heel her ho!” “Lets get her to go!” Said he on the edge of the brink.
“Heel her hell, here we go!” Thought I rather slow ‘bout to tip me arse in the drink.
‘N there we heaved ‘N there we ho’ed
‘N there we hauled But never she go’ed.
“Second anchor away!” “Now we’ll get her to sway!”
Called the Cap’n to the crew. ‘N off he goes ‘in the dinghy he rows
while David ‘n I search out our clothes.
Anchor rode to the halyard ‘n up the mast.
“Move it on boys!” “Make it fast!”
David on the handle ‘n me on the bow
‘n the Cap’n hanging high ‘bove the ol’ leaky scow.
“Heave hi boys, ho!” “heave ho boys, go!” Leave nothing to chance or luck.
‘N with another great heave so off she sleeves floating gently into the saltchuck…