You want to do a bareboat charter in an exotic locale. But you’re one couple, on a budget. You’ll occupy one stateroom, when the boat has two more. Why not split the cost by inviting friends or family to come along?
Because depending on whom you invite, you may end up ruining your own vacation.
When everyone aboard is familiar with one another and compatible, this kind of chartering works like a well-greased winch. But living in a confined space can test even the strongest relationships. If you choose your shipmates poorly, the personality quirks can turn your dream vacation into a weeklong trip from hell.
There are smart ways to choose compatible crew. I start by aiming to include fellow sailors. This step goes a long way toward dealing with false expectations of what a sailing trip entails, and the limited space aboard. If they’re non-sailors, compare it to RV land camping. Brief them fully on what to expect before they sign on.
Next, I choose people I know well. Preferably people I’ve traveled with before, even for a weekend away. Avoid inviting that fun couple you just met at last week’s yacht club cocktail party or had dinner with once. Ditto with friends of friends. Socially fun folks aren’t always easy to live with, let alone in a shared space for a week or more.
Also go for flexible and easygoing people. Avoid drama queens or kings. Sailing often involves unpredictable weather or unexpected situations that can mean itinerary alterations. Choose shipmates you know will go with the flow, as opposed to those who lose it when plans fall apart or change. If you know (or suspect) someone is an uptight traveler, they’ll be an equally uptight crewmember.
Compatible lifestyles also matter. Do you like to spend quiet nights aboard, retire at a reasonable hour, then get up early and make the most of each day? If your friends are night owls who love to party till the wee hours, sleep till noon, then start their day by sipping Bloody Marys, things will not go well for either side. Make sure all aboard are on the same page as far as daily routine and cocktail consumption.
Also say no to control freaks. On a boat, there’s only one captain. If you have friends who always choose when and where you’ll meet up, or what you’ll do, this won’t change on charter. Will they argue with the captain’s decisions or the group’s planned itinerary? Will they dictate group activities, such as where you eat ashore on nights off the boat? Probably. If you want to stay friends, stick to enjoying their company ashore.
Boundary-breakers are also a problem. If you’re considering anyone who routinely oversteps your boundaries on land, think twice before inviting them to join you aboard. Do they talk nonstop, or tend to monopolize any group conversation? On a boat, this can turn mild annoyance into major aggravation. Everyone needs occasional quiet and private time during a charter. If you head to the bow for some alone time, or if you grab a book and lay back to relax, most folks will heed the subtle “do not disturb” signal. If your friends don’t, resentment will grow exponentially. Choose folks you know will respect personal boundaries and mutual quiet time.
Picky eaters are also unwelcome. Does someone you’re considering complain about the food or service when you’ve shared meals out? The same will be true on a boat, only magnified. Meals aboard are generally shared. Picky eaters or folks with long lists of dietary constraints can make group provisioning, meal planning and mealtimes stressful and tense rather than relaxing and fun. Choose folks whose eating habits and mindsets generally agree with yours.
Also pay attention to personal habits. If you know someone well enough to have visited their home, you probably have some idea of whether they’re clutter-prone or orderly. This won’t change once they’re aboard; it’s their home for the week. If they’re clutter-prone, nothing will make a boat feel smaller than personal stuff piled everywhere. If you’re an orderly type, this will annoy you by day two. Conversely, if you have a friend who’s so compulsively neat they’ll follow you around with cleaning wipes all week, this can be a deal-breaker, too. Aim for folks whose habits are compatible with yours.
Finally, when you invite potential shipmates, give them an easy out if they don’t seem interested. Start with explaining the basics. If they’re enthusiastic, ask if they want more details and go from there.
Following these simple tips will avoid potential pitfalls and prevent your long-awaited vacation from being a friendship-breaker. If you choose your fellow bareboat crew carefully, your time aboard will cement longstanding friendships and guarantee a harmonious, in-synch sailing week that’s memorable (in a good way) for all aboard.
