By the second hour of my shift, I cracked open the can of Red Bull I had* and drank it down. With a newfound boost of energy I decided to look my fear in the face - it was doing me no good out there. So I did. The wind started gusting up to 35 knots, waves were bucking and rearing our old girl but she was stellar. If there is one thing that helped to abate my 'fear' last night it was our boat - she is one sturdy vessel, that is for sure.Before I knew it, I was actually having fun. The wind was screaming, the rigging whistling, waves crashing, water coming in through our hatches, spray in my face - and there I was, out there in the darkness alone fighting the wheel as the rudder got rounded up by wave after wave, when suddenly - I caught myself smiling. Holy crap! I was enjoying myself. I had control. I was no longer intimidated by the strength of the wind or the force of the waves, I was simply guiding our vessel through them - and I knew I was safe as long as I was with her. I had faith and a newfound confidence - the kind that you find on the other side of adversity.